Fight Club - Declare War on Lust and Pornography

A warrior does not let an enemy sleep in his tent. A warrior does not go into battle without his armor. The enemy of our souls is waging war on us as men, seeking to kill, steal, and destroy us. One of the primary battlefields of our time is the area of lust and pornography. The digital frontier has brought this spiritual warfare into our homes and lives in an insidious way incomparable to any past generation. How are we fighting this battle when...

•  71% of teens have done something to hide what they do online from their parents (this includes clearing browser history, minimizing a browser when in view, deleting inappropriate videos, lying about behavior, using a phone instead of a computer, blocking parents with social media privacy settings, using private browsing, disabling parental controls, or having e-mail or social media accounts unknown to parents).
• 32% of teens admit to intentionally accessing nude or pornographic content online. Of these, 43% do so on a weekly basis. Only 12% of parents knew their teens were accessing pornography.
• 35% of boys (Ages 13-14) said they had viewed pornographic videos “too many times to count.”
• 93% of boys and 62% of girls were exposed to pornography before age 18.
• 64% of parents do not use online parental controls or filtering software.
• 30% of 17-year-olds have received a sext.
• 38% of 13-18-year-olds said they had created a sext. 

See the full 37-page report put out by Covenant Eyes here. 

We are kidding ourselves if we think that pornography and digital explicit media is not infiltrating the lives of our teens, even our Christian teens. This indeed is every young man's battle and many of our young women struggle with this as well. With the advent of mobile smartphones and tablets the problem has become all the more epidemic. One report from 2006 (ten years ago!) found that 1 in 5 searches on Google from mobile devices were for pornography (Read the full report here). 

To be a man who is a follower of Jesus means arming oneself against and armoring oneself for the coming attacks in this battle. 

Are you ready to fight? 

Paul wrote, almost prophetically to our present day, regarding God's will in this area of personal holiness in his letter to the church in Thessalonica,

For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality; that each one of you know how to control his own body in holiness and honor, not in the passion of lust like the Gentiles who do not know God;that no one transgress and wrong his brother in this matter, because the Lord is an avenger in all these things, as we told you beforehand and solemnly warned you. For God has not called us for impurity, but in holiness. (1 Thessalonians 4:3-7)

Every man needs to know how to control his own body, his own mind, and his own eyes. Have you developed a personal battle plan against lust, impurity, and pornography? Where are the places, who are the people that cause you to stumble? Are there contacts you need to delete? Devices you need to destroy or get rid of? Jesus teaches the principle of Radical Amputation in fighting with lust (Matthew 5:29-30). "If you eye causes you to stumble, cut it out!" Don't halfheartedly go to war with this struggle, it will kill you, destroy your perspective of women, give false expectations of a future wife, and consume your life. What do you need to get rid of to win this fight for your heart and mind? 

Stop offending God with this secret sin and bring it into the open. Have you confessed this sin or struggle to a brother (James 5:16)? You cannot fight this fight alone! God has called you to holiness. But what He has called you to do, He will enable you to do (1 Thessalonians 5:24)! Don't lose heart, bring this sin into the light and let God deal with it. You are not alone, no temptation has overtaken you that is new or not common to man (1 Corinthians 10:13). 

If you are struggling with lust, impurity and pornography find someone who loves you, who you can trust, and tell them. Develop a plan to cut off and limit access. Invite regular and consistent accountability. Most importantly, cultivate a stronger desire for God. Behavior modification will only take you so far, you have to replace your desire for sin with a stronger desire for God. As C.S. Lewis writes,

“It would seem that Our Lord finds our desires not too strong, but too weak. We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased.” (C.S. Lewis in Weight of Glory)

You were made to find ultimate meaning and satisfaction in God (Psalm 16:11). Have you run to the one for whom you were made? Have you confessed your sin to the Father, received the forgiveness that comes through the Son, Jesus, and then committed to dependence on the Spirit to fill you with His fruit of self-control (Galatians 5:22-23)?

Begin the journey of a fighter today. 

Join the war, be a warrior. 

Young man, this is your calling, these are your orders. 

FIGHT!  

Steps to Freedom
Confession (personal and in community with others)
Fostering a greater desire for God through spiritual disciplines
Radical Amputation & Appropriate Boundaries

Helpful Resources
At the Altar of Sexual Idolatry by Steve Gallagher

Every Young Man's Battle by Fred Stoeker and Steve Arterburn

Sex is Not the Problem, Lust is by Joshua Harris

The Discipline of Grace by Jerry Bridges

Parents, cutting off access to explicit content for your teens is hugely important. We have created a resource for you help you explore different Filtering Software options. You can access this HERE. 

Small Group Leaders Are The Most Indispensable Part Of Our Student Ministry

For SURGE Student Ministries our small group leaders are the most valuable resource or asset. Many Youth Ministries are driven by a celebrity/show complex. In these performance driven ministries, students show up to see the music, lights, fog, and "TED talk-like" speaker!  Some aspects of this are not inherently wrong, but we believe that student ministry should be driven ultimately by mission and discipleship and our small group leaders are the primary catalysts for this to take place. We value our leaders for the following reasons.

Our Leaders Are People

Every one of our leaders has their own story. Their lives come with a wealth of different experiences, successes, and failures that they can and do share with the students in their small groups. NEWSFLASH: None of our leaders were born Christians! Their stories are of broken but changed lives that declare the grace and glory of God. When these lives and stories are put in close quarters with teenagers, powerful influence and impact can occur. Our leaders are all people, but what makes them amazing is God...

Our Leaders Have Faith

Every one of our leaders has a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. They are not just people, they are new people. "Old things have passed away, look, all things have become new" (2 Corinthians 5:17). The most significant thing about our leaders is that God is at work in and through them. "Apart from me you can do nothing," Jesus said (John 15:5). As followers of Jesus who have embraced Him as their Savior and Lord they are empowered by the Spirit and filled with a purpose, the expansion of God's kingdom. Our leader's believe that God is changing lives and they long to see this in the next generation of young people. This motivates each leader to pray for the students in their small group every day, something we find of the uttermost importance. However, the faith of our leaders would by no means be as attractive to students were it not for their love...

Our Leaders Show Love

Every one of our leaders is passionate about students. They are not serving in student ministry because of a sense of obligation. They serve and love students because this is the specific ministry for which their hearts are burdened! Some have teenagers themselves and understand the gravity of this season of life. Others recently graduated from this transitive time and long to help guide others through it. For whatever reason our leaders love teenagers. They express this love weekly through countless texts, calls, athletic events, smiles, and prayers. Students are more likely to come if they feel loved, if they know someone will miss them. In a ministry that engages a few hundred students annually, a few student ministry staff could never provide this kind of care.

Thank you Leaders!

We need to do better about acknowledging and appreciating these leaders. They are the most indispensable part of SURGE Student Ministries. So if you are one of the individuals who we are writing about, one of the soldiers in the trenches, know this...

We always thank God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, when we pray for you, since we heard of your faith in Christ Jesus and of the love that you have for all [your students], because of the hope laid up for you in heaven. Of this you have heard before in the word of the truth, the gospel, which has come to you, as indeed in the whole world it is bearing fruit and increasing—as it also does among you, since the day you heard it and understood the grace of God in truth (Colossians 1:3-6)

Thank you, leaders!

Are you interested in serving in SURGE as a Small Group Leader for students from 6-12th Grade? Apply Here.