Fight Club - Declare War on Lust and Pornography

A warrior does not let an enemy sleep in his tent. A warrior does not go into battle without his armor. The enemy of our souls is waging war on us as men, seeking to kill, steal, and destroy us. One of the primary battlefields of our time is the area of lust and pornography. The digital frontier has brought this spiritual warfare into our homes and lives in an insidious way incomparable to any past generation. How are we fighting this battle when...

•  71% of teens have done something to hide what they do online from their parents (this includes clearing browser history, minimizing a browser when in view, deleting inappropriate videos, lying about behavior, using a phone instead of a computer, blocking parents with social media privacy settings, using private browsing, disabling parental controls, or having e-mail or social media accounts unknown to parents).
• 32% of teens admit to intentionally accessing nude or pornographic content online. Of these, 43% do so on a weekly basis. Only 12% of parents knew their teens were accessing pornography.
• 35% of boys (Ages 13-14) said they had viewed pornographic videos “too many times to count.”
• 93% of boys and 62% of girls were exposed to pornography before age 18.
• 64% of parents do not use online parental controls or filtering software.
• 30% of 17-year-olds have received a sext.
• 38% of 13-18-year-olds said they had created a sext. 

See the full 37-page report put out by Covenant Eyes here. 

We are kidding ourselves if we think that pornography and digital explicit media is not infiltrating the lives of our teens, even our Christian teens. This indeed is every young man's battle and many of our young women struggle with this as well. With the advent of mobile smartphones and tablets the problem has become all the more epidemic. One report from 2006 (ten years ago!) found that 1 in 5 searches on Google from mobile devices were for pornography (Read the full report here). 

To be a man who is a follower of Jesus means arming oneself against and armoring oneself for the coming attacks in this battle. 

Are you ready to fight? 

Paul wrote, almost prophetically to our present day, regarding God's will in this area of personal holiness in his letter to the church in Thessalonica,

For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality; that each one of you know how to control his own body in holiness and honor, not in the passion of lust like the Gentiles who do not know God;that no one transgress and wrong his brother in this matter, because the Lord is an avenger in all these things, as we told you beforehand and solemnly warned you. For God has not called us for impurity, but in holiness. (1 Thessalonians 4:3-7)

Every man needs to know how to control his own body, his own mind, and his own eyes. Have you developed a personal battle plan against lust, impurity, and pornography? Where are the places, who are the people that cause you to stumble? Are there contacts you need to delete? Devices you need to destroy or get rid of? Jesus teaches the principle of Radical Amputation in fighting with lust (Matthew 5:29-30). "If you eye causes you to stumble, cut it out!" Don't halfheartedly go to war with this struggle, it will kill you, destroy your perspective of women, give false expectations of a future wife, and consume your life. What do you need to get rid of to win this fight for your heart and mind? 

Stop offending God with this secret sin and bring it into the open. Have you confessed this sin or struggle to a brother (James 5:16)? You cannot fight this fight alone! God has called you to holiness. But what He has called you to do, He will enable you to do (1 Thessalonians 5:24)! Don't lose heart, bring this sin into the light and let God deal with it. You are not alone, no temptation has overtaken you that is new or not common to man (1 Corinthians 10:13). 

If you are struggling with lust, impurity and pornography find someone who loves you, who you can trust, and tell them. Develop a plan to cut off and limit access. Invite regular and consistent accountability. Most importantly, cultivate a stronger desire for God. Behavior modification will only take you so far, you have to replace your desire for sin with a stronger desire for God. As C.S. Lewis writes,

“It would seem that Our Lord finds our desires not too strong, but too weak. We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased.” (C.S. Lewis in Weight of Glory)

You were made to find ultimate meaning and satisfaction in God (Psalm 16:11). Have you run to the one for whom you were made? Have you confessed your sin to the Father, received the forgiveness that comes through the Son, Jesus, and then committed to dependence on the Spirit to fill you with His fruit of self-control (Galatians 5:22-23)?

Begin the journey of a fighter today. 

Join the war, be a warrior. 

Young man, this is your calling, these are your orders. 

FIGHT!  

Steps to Freedom
Confession (personal and in community with others)
Fostering a greater desire for God through spiritual disciplines
Radical Amputation & Appropriate Boundaries

Helpful Resources
At the Altar of Sexual Idolatry by Steve Gallagher

Every Young Man's Battle by Fred Stoeker and Steve Arterburn

Sex is Not the Problem, Lust is by Joshua Harris

The Discipline of Grace by Jerry Bridges

Parents, cutting off access to explicit content for your teens is hugely important. We have created a resource for you help you explore different Filtering Software options. You can access this HERE. 

5 Lies Social Media is Telling You

The impact of social media cannot be understated in these modern times. With over two billion people on this planet connected via various social networks the global societal transformation of the last decade is nothing short of remarkable! With these new frontiers of communication and relationship come many challenges, especially for the discerning Christian.

With the arrival of so many new modes of communication we are now bombarded for a plethora of messages every day. What is true? What is reality? Sadly the Information Age, ironically, has in many ways clouded the truth. Scripture commands us to cast our thoughts on certain things,

“Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things.” Philippians 4:8

Is social media helping us to this end or hurting us? What thoughts have you allowed social media to bombard you with this week? Many of these thoughts are outright lies. Here are five of these lies:

1. Life is Good

It is a rare occurrence to see a picture into the real difficulties of life on social media. It is mostly proms, date nights, vacations, filtered selfies, and perfect sunsets. How much of our mundane (read: normal) lives do these snapshots represent? Very little. A married couple will put up happy pictures as they celebrate an anniversary, but when you have seen a public divorce announcement? Baby pictures. Enough said. Miscarriage posts? Few and far between.

Social media has become a dishonest picture of most of our lives. Instead of representing a “true” picture of reality it distorts reality into alternative universe in which pain or failure are close to non-existent or are only shared if they include a victory or redemption aspect and beauty and happiness are our perpetual existence. Life is not always “good.”

2. Likes Make Right

Social media rewards anything that goes ‘viral.” Web-traffic and popularity online does not equate to a person doing the right thing. We need to ask ourselves if what we are posting is edifying, does it impart grace to those who read it or see it (Ephesians 4:29). The amount of likes does not make it right. Maybe it was gossip? Maybe it was inappropriate? Don’t let the desire to increase your “reach” or “followers” destroy the integrity of what you put on social media.

3. They look Perfect

Filters and Photoshop. What you see online is not reality. Just like what was already said about how life almost always appears to be good so do you rarely see a bad hair day on Snapchat or Instagram. I once watched a woman after walking off a plane at an airport stand in a terminal for over ten minutes in the same place trying to get the “perfect” selfie. None of her followers know it took ten minutes to get that “quick and candid selfie.” This behavior distorts our perspective of beauty and also can slowly destroy your perception of self.

4. It is not an Argument, It is a Discussion

Sure, on the surface many comments and forum discussions take the form of a discussion that would resemble a verbal conversation. But picture that verbal conversation being broadcast for thousands or millions to see. You cannot say that that does not change the tone, intensity, or civility of the discussion or conversation. All of the sudden, you are performing for an audience. If you want to have a serious dialogue take it into private messages, a person will rarely admit they are wrong in front of an audience of all their friends. It also is a great way to avoid coming across as insensitive or proud.

5. It is just a picture/message

Something about the medium of communication via text message or various social media apps lessons the seriousness of communication. Wouldn't it be weird to write handwritten letters, dozens of them, to someone of the opposite sex if you were married? But somehow regular texting is appropriate. The medium has changed but why has the appropriateness followed. I cannot count how many affairs and immoralities I have heard about that began through social networks or messaging. For this reason we need to be on guard and realize that all communication digital and not has power and is affecting our relationships with people. Is it moving us closer to Jesus?

Are we discerning what thoughts and ideas are assailing us through social media as followers of Jesus? Have we spent enough time in the Word renewing our mind (Hebrews 4:12; Romans 12:1-2; 2 Corinthians 10:3-6) that we can see the lies that are put before us? Social media can and should be a tool for improving communication, capturing moments for others to see, and spreading the gospel of Jesus.

Guard yourself against the lies of social media!