A warrior does not let an enemy sleep in his tent. A warrior does not go into battle without his armor. The enemy of our souls is waging war on us as men, seeking to kill, steal, and destroy us. One of the primary battlefields of our time is the area of lust and pornography. The digital frontier has brought this spiritual warfare into our homes and lives in an insidious way incomparable to any past generation. How are we fighting this battle when...
- 71% of teens have done something to hide what they do online from their parents (this includes clearing browser history, minimizing a browser when in view, deleting inappropriate videos, lying about behavior, using a phone instead of a computer, blocking parents with social media privacy settings, using private browsing, disabling parental controls, or having e-mail or social media accounts unknown to parents).
- 32% of teens admit to intentionally accessing nude or pornographic content online. Of these, 43% do so on a weekly basis. Only 12% of parents knew their teens were accessing pornography.
- 35% of boys (Ages 13-14) said they had viewed pornographic videos “too many times to count.”
- 93% of boys and 62% of girls were exposed to pornography before age 18.
- 64% of parents do not use online parental controls or filtering software.
- 30% of 17-year-olds have received a sext.
- 38% of 13-18-year-olds said they had created a sext.
See the full 37-page report put out by Covenant Eyes here.
We are kidding ourselves if we think that pornography and digital explicit media is not infiltrating the lives of our teens, even our Christian teens. This indeed is every young man's battle and many of our young women struggle with this as well. With the advent of mobile smartphones and tablets the problem has become all the more epidemic. One report from 2006 (ten years ago!) found that 1 in 5 searches on Google from mobile devices were for pornography (Read the full report here).
To be a man who is a follower of Jesus means arming oneself against and armoring oneself for the coming attacks in this battle.
Are you ready to fight?
Paul wrote, almost prophetically to our present day, regarding God's will in this area of personal holiness in his letter to the church in Thessalonica,
For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality; that each one of you know how to control his own body in holiness and honor, not in the passion of lust like the Gentiles who do not know God;that no one transgress and wrong his brother in this matter, because the Lord is an avenger in all these things, as we told you beforehand and solemnly warned you. For God has not called us for impurity, but in holiness. (1 Thessalonians 4:3-7)
Every man needs to know how to control his own body, his own mind, and his own eyes. Have you developed a personal battle plan against lust, impurity, and pornography? Where are the places, who are the people that cause you to stumble? Are there contacts you need to delete? Devices you need to destroy or get rid of? Jesus teaches the principle of Radical Amputation in fighting with lust (Matthew 5:29-30). "If you eye causes you to stumble, cut it out!" Don't halfheartedly go to war with this struggle, it will kill you, destroy your perspective of women, give false expectations of a future wife, and consume your life. What do you need to get rid of to win this fight for your heart and mind?
Stop offending God with this secret sin and bring it into the open. Have you confessed this sin or struggle to a brother (James 5:16)? You cannot fight this fight alone! God has called you to holiness. But what He has called you to do, He will enable you to do (1 Thessalonians 5:24)! Don't lose heart, bring this sin into the light and let God deal with it. You are not alone, no temptation has overtaken you that is new or not common to man (1 Corinthians 10:13).
If you are struggling with lust, impurity and pornography find someone who loves you, who you can trust, and tell them. Develop a plan to cut off and limit access. Invite regular and consistent accountability. Most importantly, cultivate a stronger desire for God. Behavior modification will only take you so far, you have to replace your desire for sin with a stronger desire for God. As C.S. Lewis writes,
If you are struggling with lust, impurity and pornography find someone who loves you, who you can trust, and tell them. Develop a plan to cut off and limit access. Invite regular and consistent accountability. Most importantly, cultivate a stronger desire for God. Behavior modification will only take you so far, you have to replace your desire for sin with a stronger desire for God. As C.S. Lewis writes,
“It would seem that Our Lord finds our desires not too strong, but too weak. We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased.” (C.S. Lewis in Weight of Glory)
You were made to find ultimate meaning and satisfaction in God (Psalm 16:11). Have you run to the one for whom you were made? Have you confessed your sin to the Father, received the forgiveness that comes through the Son, Jesus, and then committed to dependence on the Spirit to fill you with His fruit of self-control (Galatians 5:22-23)?
Begin the journey of a fighter today.
Join the war, be a warrior.
Young man, this is your calling, these are your orders.
FIGHT!
Steps to Freedom
Confession (personal and in community with others)
Fostering a greater desire for God through spiritual disciplines
Radical Amputation & Appropriate Boundaries
Helpful Resources
At the Altar of Sexual Idolatry by Steve Gallagher
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